Recently I heard about the hot new drinking trend sweeping the nation -- kids soaking gummy bears in vodka, if you can believe it! I got some information tonight, from a friend of a friend who heard it from his cousin, that things are getting WORSE on lollipop lane.
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| Pic related, it's what kids are putting up their butts |
See, there was this one group of kids who read about "rainbow drank" from one of those social networking sites they're always talking about on the news. They tried it out, but it was too easily detectable (their breath smelled like cherries and booze!) -- on a dare, one of them tried putting a gummy in his bottom, which I believe is called "planking." Alcohol absorbs very quickly through the b-hole, and the kid was drunk off his ass (so to speak) in just a few minutes. His parents didn't know what was going on, but became suspicious when they noticed the rainbow streaks in their sons' underwear. Obviously they are very embarrassed and don't know what to do, but something needs to be done! His friends have been throwing what they call "rainbow parties" and it's sick!
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| Kids these days... |
I know you guys are "down with the kids" and was wondering if you people had any ideas. The first step is, alerting the principles of all the local middle and high schools. The next step would be, alerting the local news media, who surely would be interested in this unexpected twist. The final step would be, PROFIT.
-Mooch
